Taking matters into our own hands

In the latter part of the Civil War, year 1864, uh, Union forces are penetrating into the South. At this point in time, General Sherman has already entered into northern Georgia and made his way towards Atlanta. Tennessee is a vital part of the supply line of Union forces to bring troops, reinforcements, weapons, and even food down this line from the north. Uh during this point in time, there was a general, General Hood, who was in command of the forces of Tennessee. At that point in time, General Hood had been charged with causing skirmishes and trying to break up this uh this um battle line and this supply line that was happening in Tennessee in order to regain and control of Tennessee and to cut off the for uh the supplies that were coming down to General Sherman in Georgia. Uh during this time he was given a direct order by his superior officer General Bell who gave him this direct order. Do not directly engage an assault, a frontal assault on the Union forces. See, General Hood had been known as a very aggressive and daring kind of general who would charge and take the lead and be aggressive and cunning at different times and it worked well for him in many cases. But one thing that General Bale knew about this is that the Union forces were heavily entrenched, well supplied and well fortified. They were in a sortant fort and encampment that would be very hard for any frontal assault to take. Instead, General Bell was supposed to cause skirmishes that would draw the enemy out from their protections and from their supplies and then engage them at that point in time. But General Hood disobeyed and disregarded a direct order from his superior officer. Instead, he ordered a charge against the advice of all those officers around him as well to directly engage the enemy who he had underestimated and to take them on in a frontal assault. Well, the result of that was cataclysmic. 6,000 soldiers within a very short period of time were either dead or wounded. Six other generals within the army were dead or captured. It was a defeating and crushing blow to General Hood and his army. And it essentially opened Tennessee wide open in terms of control for Union forces. At that point in time, General Hood made a decision to disobey a command. He looked and surveyed the the pressure of the time, the growing uh aggressiveness of the Union forces. He felt he needed to do something to take charge of the situation. And so he took matters into his own hands. Disobeyed a a command and it wound up with a cataclysmic failure as a consequence. Today we're going to be looking in 1st Samuel chapter 13 at a story of another king who also feels pressure who also is in a dire situation and he has been given a command by a superior officer by the prophet who represents God. And so therefore is a command from God. And yet he is going to choose to disobey the command to take matters into his own hands. And today we're going to be looking at taking matters into our own hands as we look at this text. I'm going to be reading from 1st Samuel chapter 13 uh verses 1- 16. Saul lived for one year and they became king. And when he reigned for two years over Israel, Saul chose 3,000 men of Israel. 2,000 were with Saul in Mcmash and the hill country of Bethl. And the thousand were with Jonathan of Giba in Benj of Benjamin. The rest of the people he sent home, every man to his tent. Jonathan defeated the garrison of the Philistines that were at Gibba. And the Philistines heard of it. And Saul blew the trumpet throughout the land, saying, "Let the Hebrews hear." And all Israel heard it said that Saul had defeated the garrison of the Philistines, and also that Israel had become a stench to the Philistines. And the people were called out to join Saul at Gilgal. And the Philistines mustered to fight Israel 30,000 chariots and 6,000 horsemen and troops like the sand of the seashore in multitude. They came up and encamped in Mcmash to the east of Beth Aavan. When the men of Israel saw that they were in trouble, for the people were hardpressed, the people hid themselves in caves and holes and in rocks and in tombs and inistns. And some Hebrews crossed the fords of the Jordan to the land of Gad and Gilead. Saul was still at Gilgal, and the people followed him trembling. He waited 7 days for the time appointed by Samuel. But Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and the people were scattering from him. And Saul said, "Bring the burnt offering here to me and the peace offerings." And he offered the burnt offering. As soon as he had finished offering the burnt offering, behold, Samuel came and Saul went out to meet him and greet him. Samuel said, "What have you done?" And Saul said, "When I saw the people were scattering from me, and that you did not come within the days appointed, and that the Philistines had mustered at Mcmash, I said,"Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I've not sought the favor of the Lord." So I forced myself and offered the burnt offering. Samuel said to Saul, "You have done foolishly. You have not kept the command of the Lord your God with which he commanded you. For then the Lord would have established your kingdom over Israel forever. But now your kingdom shall not continue. The Lord has sought out a man after his own heart, and the Lord has commanded him to be prince over his people because you have not kept the what the Lord commanded you. And Samuel arose, went up from Gilgal, and the rest of the people went up after Saul to meet the army. They went up from Gilgal to Gibia of Benjamin. This is the word of the Lord. As we look at this text, as I mentioned a moment ago, this really at the end of it centers on the idea that Saul disobys a command and he takes matters into his own hands. He may feel the pressure. He may feel all the things that are going on, but at the end of the day, he has disobeyed the word of the Lord. Today, as we're looking at this text, we're going to look at three different things about this. We're first going to look at how does Saul take matters into his hands in his own hands. Why does he take matters into his own hands and what is the result of doing so? So the first thing that we see is how does Saul take matters into his his own hands and and really what it is at the end of the day is that Saul as we see doesn't wait and offer sacrifices. He disobys. Let's take a look and zoom in on verse 8 and N. It says that he waited seven days. So remember, you know, that the enemy forces are gathering at this point in time. He waits seven days, the time appointed by Samuel, but Samuel did not come to Gilgal. And the people were scattering from him. So Saul said, "Bring the burnt offering here to me and the peace offerings." And he offered the burnt offering. Now, one thing to point out here is one, he has been given an order. Wait seven days. We can see here that Samuel still shows up right after the sacrifice. So, it's still within the time frame. He's he's followed up on what he did. It was always seems like how the Lord works at the last minute, at the final hour, you know, in the fourth quarter with two seconds left on the clock to use a football analogy there. But at the end of the day, he he has come and Saul has already offered the sacrifice. He's taken matters into his his own hands. He looked at the scene and surveyed and you know we can we can relate to Saul in this in many ways. We can feel the sense of urgency and this sense of fretting and worry and looking about and saying what what are we going to do uh about this situation and so he decides to go ahead and take those matters into his own hand. And remember the prophet represents the voice of God. He makes known the will of God. And in this matter, he has made his purpose clearly known through the voice of Samuel. Wait seven days. And it's not just about the sacrifice itself. It's about the next word of the Lord. We don't know what Samuel will actually come and say. Samuel may come and say like Gideon just here's the plan. Light some torches, crush some pot. We don't know. Saul is assuming because he's only got a few people left and they're dwindling quickly that like he's losing military advantage. He's losing out on this. He needs to take advantage and do something, but he needs the word of the Lord. He needs to obey. He doesn't need to abandon the Lord at this moment. He doesn't have many, many forces left. They're quickly dwindling. And yet, he disregards the actual command of God. Takes the sacrifice. And by doing so, it seems like since it says he forced himself, we have to wonder and many many Bible scholars do is did he offer the sacrifice himself? Did he he not even use a Levite who he should have used to offer the sacrifices? Remember Samuel is also a Levite. He worked in the temple. He was born a Levite. And so we have to to to wonder at this time has he also gone beyond the bounds and stepped into a role that is not his a priestly role. And see Saul is king and and a king should have all sorts of he has all sorts of authority. That authority though is given to him from above. He should rule. He should reign. He should order his forces. He should try to keep the borders safe. Uh he should try to create a landscape for justice in the land. A an environment for safety of his people. He he brings that with the power and the presence and and the blessing of God into the land. If he understands his role appropriately, this is what he does. He follows the ways of the Lord. He makes the ways of God known by obeying and promoting the will of God in the way that he reigns. But like all leaders, we we lead within certain boundaries. You don't go outside of those boundaries. One of those boundaries is obey the Lord. Listen to him. Who gave you that authority? Who set you up at king in the first place? And whenever you decide to take matters in your own hands, whenever you decide to to step into roles that God has not ordained for you, you are working against God, you are not inviting his blessing or his purpose or his plan into your sphere, into the area that he called you to reign and to rule. Do you see that? See, we we also were created in a way to reign and to rule as these ambassadors of God, as these representatives. He created us in his image and told us as like image bearsers to bear his image in this world. And so God often times sets us up in little spheres of influence. And he calls us to exhibit and to exercise his purposes and his image and his goodness and his light into whatever sphere we we find ourselves. But we can go beyond that sphere too. We can step into places. We can omit the command of God. So sins of omission or we can commit sins where we directly disobey what God told us to do. But in both ways, we fail and we don't step and we go out of bounds of where God told us. I want you to rule and reign. But it's still under my authority because we're all under authority. Everyone is under God's authority. General Hood was under General Bell. General Bell was under General Lee. Like, we're all under the authority that God has given to us. And Saul has stepped out of those bounds. And we can see in our own lives, God can set us up in different ways. You know what? Because as a dad, I think about, you know, my world. But one of the things that I thought about even this week is that God set me up as a dad, as a parent, and he's called me and and even described to me to exercise my role as a parent in a certain way. He he's given me descriptions of it in his word. One of them actually is going to be in Deuteronomy 6 6-7. You see that it says in in there, the the Lord is giving a command right after the ten commandments. You know, you shall, it's the shama, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, your mind, your soul, and strength. And as he's going through this, Moses then says this. He says in verse six, "And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children. You shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise." He's given a description for me, for any parent. And and and if I all of a sudden decide to not obey that, maybe I'll just say, "Well, you know, kids figure it out. You know, they they'll get it. They like osmosis or something, you know, like, you know, and we start to and I start to abdicate that rule. I start to not follow that plan." Then I'm stepping out of bounds. Maybe I'm maybe I do it because I'm busy and I want to seek my own way. I'm like, you know, I really want to go hang out with my friends and do all these other things. And, you know, the dad thing's just an inconvenience sometimes. I'm going out of bounds. I'm omitting to do what God has called me to do. And you can think about, you know, whether it be your job or even my job as a product manager, different areas of life that God sets us, different roles and responsibilities he's given us. And he says, "I'm to describe how in a marriage, in a family, in a church, in the world, in all these different ways that I want you to exhibit me and to live by those, to not go out of bounds, to not get into another lane that I didn't call you to because you're going to disobey me and my blessing will not be in it." The point is is that when we go beyond God's command, we carve our own path. It's a path away from God and it leads to trouble. Second thing, why does Saul take matters into his own hands? There's two things that I want us to see from this. And the first one is is that Saul is number one, he's restless. If you look with me at verses 11 and 12, it says, "Samuel said, "What have you done?" And Saul said, "When I saw the people were scattering from me, and that you did not come within the days appointed, and that the Philistines had mustered at Mcmash, I said, 'Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the favor of the Lord. So I forced myself and offered the burnt offering." There's one thing I want us to highlight in that passage right there that I want you to see. Every the pressure is on and we can sympathize. I don't want to set Saul up as someone that we kick and we beat down. If we were in this circumstance, we would feel pressure. We would probably feel fear. We would probably feel like something needs to be done and there would be a temptation to act in some way. There would be a temptation not to trust the plan and the will of God in this. And so, but Saul does something that I think is very interesting. Verse 12, I said the Philistines will come down against me. Do you know what Saul's doing? Do you see what he's doing here? Well, he's presuming something. But this is something that I've seen in in all of us at some point. We get afraid about something and we do what I call painting the canvas. We look into the future. We kind of look at what's going on around us and we begin to paint what's going to happen. We begin to assume and often times it's a worst case scenario, right? I have this mole. Oh man, here it comes. Right? We're ready for like the world to fall apart and like we run. I mean, we've all been there. I'm not I'm not I'm saying it's a natural tendency. We begin to paint the canvas. Saul right here is looking at the things that are going on and he assumes this is what the Philistines are going to do and this is the way it's going to happen and if I don't do something, it's all on me, right? cuz I don't know where God's at and I haven't offered any s Sam Samuel where is he and he's asking all sorts of questions. He's painted something. He's assumed something and so he feels a growing pressure to answer a future that he doesn't even know. Do you know what's missing in that painting? God. God is often missing in our painting. When we paint what's going to happen and we assume this is how it's going to go down and play out and terrible worst case scenario comes about. Where is God? Where is he? And the temptation of life is to forget the Lord. To forget that he is with you in the storm. He is with you even if you walk through hard things. And Saul right here needs to remember and paint into that picture God to trust that God would be with him. That God has a plan and that Samuel's following that plan. And like any general, it can feel tense in the heat of the battle. And there's there's so many civil war stories, for example, of generals who in the heat of the moment, they defected from the orders. They didn't follow the plan. And it led to cataclysmic failure because the general didn't see the bigger picture of what his commanding officer was telling him to do. And often times we can do the same thing. We can't see how God's working. We don't always know his purposes and his plan. And we begin to assume and then we assume what we need to do in order to make good of the situation. And it forgets what God is doing. And you know what really happens in the midst of that and what it kind of begins to reveal about Saul in the midst of this is that Saul is a man who lacks faith. He lacks faith in God's plan. He often looks to his own hands. And in this situation right here, we're going to see not just here, but over and over again in the book of Samuel that Saul is a man who lacks faith. And that is a dangerous thing for a leader. James chapter 1 verse 6 very famous passage that talks about that. It says uh about someone who is wavering or tempted. When we ask of God says but let him ask in faith with no doubting. For the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. And later on a very famous part verse 8 it says such a person is double-minded and unstable in all his ways. When we lack faith we're not grounded. We're not rooted in anything. In fact that uh that word in James here that that he uh without u sorry but let him ask in faith with no doubting for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea. Yeah. word doubts in the Greek is this idea of it's a diiao which is this idea of of dividing of like it's a judge who divides and assesses the situation and we can begin to do that where we move into a good way to translate this into the English is deliberate kind of like a judge deliberates he hears both sides and we but if we're not grounded in faith that's what we do doubt is this deliberation No, what do I do? And that's how Saul is doubting. And what do you do when that deliberation when it's not rooted in God? When it's not with faith, when it doesn't hold on to an anchor, well then you're just untethered, wavering back and forth. This is what Saul is doing. Wavering back and forth. And without faith, we know that it is impossible to please God. We're not rooted. we're not tethered. Faith faith invites us to put on a new lens, to see things a different way. In fact, Hebrews 11:1, we remember that faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. It's the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not not seen. And it invites us to see something we can't see. It invites us to trust in something that we know in our heart even when we can't see it. That's the journey of faith. That's the journey that Saul in this moment needs so badly because it allows us to paint a landscape with hope. It allows us to see a different kind of painting. It allows us not to presume and assume or paint God out of the picture. You know, one one sort of practical or final thing is how do how do we get faith if you don't have faith? If your faith is weak, if you find yourself shaking, that's where we look into Romans. Faith comes by hearing and hearing comes by the word of Christ. It's God's word. It's the truth that God loved you, that he sent his son for you, that if he began a good work in you, don't you believe he'll finish it? Don't you think that all the pro promises of God are yes and amen? And we can trust in those things. I don't know what's going on, God, but I will trust. And if you need your soul reinvigorated, spend some time reading the promises of God. Spend some time reaclimating yourself to the character of God that is found in his word because it will reignite your faith. Second thing that I want us to see in here, so Saul obviously he's restless, he's afraid, he's painted the canvas and assumed one thing. The second thing that in here of why does Saul take matters into his own hands is that Saul assumes that he needs to appease God. He needs to appease God in order to win this war. It's in verse 12. He said, "I said now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal. I have not sought the favor of the Lord. So I forced myself." And the way that Saul's kind of coming and approaching this, not it's like I the sacrifice needs to be ordered so we can kind of check the box. We can get the approval and of God. And so I can I can now do something. I can now act. I can now move. Saul is treating God much like the pagans go did treated their gods. You appeased the God. You know, you offered your sacrifice. You know, paid your respects to him so that he would bless you. So that then you could move on with things. But for for Saul, there's no there's no relationship here. There's no there's no crying out to God. You know, if you're afraid, Saul, cry out to God. Engage God. Pray to God. See, Saul sees God as like those foreign gods, but he forgets that the God of Israel is a God of covenant. He's a God that made a promise back to Abraham and about Abraham's seed. And he called Abraham's generations and out of the land of Egypt and he blessed them and called them to his purposes. He spoke promises over them. And we've seen time and time again God working in the lives and the hearts of his people. Not because they are good people, not because they are worthy people, but because he loves them. And in this moment, what Saul should do and could do would be to understand God doesn't want your appeasing. He wants you and your heart to come and receive what he has for you. He wants your obedience. He wants you to listen. And if you're afraid, then tell him you're afraid. Cry out to him. Talk to him. Don't just sit in the corner afraid, wavering back and forth about what you're going to do in your own hands and how you should act.  ask God to act in this moment, but Saul doesn't. He assumes the wrong kind of thing because the kind of God, really, the kind of God that Saul serves isn't the God of Israel. It's not the God from the Bible. And one of the ways that I really began to think about it uh this week is really a couple things. Saul is both religious and irreligious. Saul is religious in the sense that he grew up in Israel. He's kind of heard the stories. He's got some familiarity and he and he his understanding is really loosely based off this idea of like yeah you know we offer these sacrifices and you know and I believe in God. I believe in the good Lord but at the same time when that doesn't work out Saul will quickly defect and look to his own hands. See what he needs to do in this hour what he needs to do in this moment. And in a way that's what ir relligion is. I re religion looks to our own hands, our own self-sufficiency in order to bring about our good and our salvation. So you have religion, follow the rules, you'll be accepted, you'll get blessed, offer the sacrifice, appease the god, do whatever it is, follow the program, or number two, irreligious, which looks to your own hands. And often times in life, we do this. we will oscillate between I followed the rules. I played the game now reward me or we'll go to the other side and that's not working and so I I need to look for something out there that will help me and I'm going to take matters into my own hands which is an irreligious approach and we waver back and forth between those two things but neither understand the gospel. The gospel is is that God loves you even if you were unworthy that he accepts you. It's not about appeasement. He has called you and made a way for you to come to him. He wants to bless you. He wants to give you salvation in your life, not because of anything you've done or because you deserved it, but because of his great love. And he invites you to receive it. He invites people to receive it. He invites Saul here to trust that plan. Not trust the religious like pagan God that you sort of try to appease so he'll reward you. Not trust your own hands, but trust in the gospel. Trust in the God of the covenant of Israel. Trust in the God who said, "I've already been working. I've got a plan and I'm going to keep working that plan. Do you want to be part of it? Do you want to be in it?" But Saul doesn't understand the gospel. And we can be in that same way. We cannot understand the plans and the purpose of God. We run from religion to ir relligion, but not gospel, not gospel. And so Saul assumes that he needs to appease God. And it reveals that he doesn't really know God. And if your God failed you, if you felt like in life like, man, God didn't come through, maybe it's because you believed in a different kind of God. Not the God of Israel, not the God of the Bible, but a God that you played by the rules, so he owes you. That's a religion God. Our God already loved us. He already invited us. Not because of our worthiness, but because of his love. So, are you faithless, seeking irreligion? Are you trying to earn it and be religious? Or are you rooted? rooted in the gospel. What is the result? The result is that Saul is left to the sum of his choices. Verse verses 13- 15, we see that it says, "And Samuel said to Saul, you have done foolishly. You have not kept the command of the Lord your God with which he commanded you. For then the Lord would have established your kingdom over Israel forever. But now your kingdom shall not continue. The Lord has sought out a man after his own heart and the Lord has commanded him to be prince over his people because you have not kept the command of the Lord. Samuel arose went up from Gilgal and the rest of the people went up after Saul to meet the army. They went up from Gilgal to Gibia of Benjamin. There are four things I want us to see about the result in this story. So Saul is left to the sum of his choices and they are number one, you have been a fool, Saul. Saul has been a fool because he feared men and he feared the situation more than God. He trusted his own hands and his own eyes and what he believed was the right thing to do in this moment instead of trusting God. He's been a fool for choosing that over choosing to be obedient to God no matter what. The second thing is is that you've disobeyed. You've disobeyed the command of the Lord. our and and so one of these things that he continues to do is through his disobedience, right? He's been accused. You've been a fool. You've disobeyed Saul. And what does Saul do? What does he do? Well, you know, the army, they were gathering. The people are leaving. What am I going to do? Has he forgotten the God of Israel? God doesn't need all God can win with one person. God doesn't even need one person. He There are stories literally Saul doesn't know his Bible. He doesn't know the stories of Israel where God brought about deliverance and the army didn't have to do anything. They just watched just watched. Saul has forgotten all those things. He's disobeyed the Lord. And he blames and rationalizes other things. I had good reason to do this, God. I had good reasons, Samuel. I had a reason to disobey. He never admits his guilt. He never comes to terms with it. That's a sorrowful thing in life because the only way to receive the grace and the mercy of God is to fess up, to admit it. Yes. And if we just keep rationalizing and ignoring and acting like it didn't happen or excusing it in some way, you can't receive the grace of God. You just lay down in your disobedience. And that disobedience blinds you so that another day comes about and you do the same thing. You just keep blaming all the other people and all the other things in life and instead of looking and owning it, we want to blame shift in our culture today. We want to send it on other was my upbringing. It's all these other things that cause it. It's not. But at the end of the day, we still chose. You still choose. Yes, some of those other factors can play a role, but we still choose. Can we own our part? Saul, own your part. I know it's stressful. I know the army is gathering. I know you're losing everybody. Will you trust the Lord? Will you hold fast to that? Will you anchor and double down in that truth? Or are you going to deliberate and waver and waffle? What kind of king are you going to be, Saul? And the Lord looks in and he sees the heart. He sees a heart that doesn't know him and a heart that doesn't love him. And that's what it says right here. The kingdom won't last. Saul is reminded that that the Lord will seek out another man. He has sought out a man after his own heart according to in the likeness of the heart of God. That the king that God wants will reflect the heart of God. He will trust the Lord. He will be in relationship and walk in fellowship with it. He won't be accusing and always assuming God's not going to show up for him. He won't be be uh you know running around trying to trust in his own hands. He'll trust God. But because if you can't have a kingdom of faith, your kingdom will not last. If we cannot hold fast to the Lord, you're right. We're going to be double st double-minded. We're going to waver. Saul's kingdom can't last because it's not rooted in faith. It's not rooted in a in a trust and a reliance on the God of Israel. So, it's all over the place, flittering, fleeting. Finally, Samuel leaves. Saul never repents and he's left alone. And I think this is such a sad part of the story because this not only is Samuel left, but who does Samuel represent? God. He's the representative of God. Samuel re Samuel rebukes Saul and then just heads out. And there is Saul sitting in his own mess still deliberating what to do. What to do and alone and alone. That's really a tragedy in many ways because we in our own ways we can take matters in our own hands. We can forge our own path. We can paint a canvas,  assume things are going to happen a certain way, make our own selves our own God and self-sufficiency, and we're left alone without God's plan, without God's aid. And if we won't even repent or admit it, we're just circling around in it. And that's just a lonely, sad place to be. Now, as a preacher, you uh you may think that, you know, the appropriate thing for me to say right now would be, "So, let's not be like Saul. Let's try to be good people. Let's obey God. Let's do better. Let's try harder." But that's not actually the point or what I want to say because, you know, in this story, you're Saul. I'm Saul. I I thought about this week just how often times in my life I've looked back and I see myself in Saul. I see myself faithless at times. I see myself trying to to repent in ways of where I'm measuring up so that God will accept me. I see myself playing religious games. I look over the course of my life and just think about how many times I have played the part of Saul. And for all of us, we have to remember that we in that same way so quickly. We can be fearful. We can chase after our own salvation. We can take matters into our own hands and leave the realm which God has called us to to reign and to rule in. We can fail. We can not take up the mantle and serve in the way that God has called us to serve in that place. So, we can omit it or we can just downright disobey, do our own thing, lash out at those around us instead of trusting in God's plan and purpose and carrying forth his plan. But, you know, so what do we do in those moments when we're when we're trying we're trying to to we're living in fear. We've got all these pressures around us. What do we do in the moment? Do we just try harder and do better? It's only trusting in the gospel. That's the path where it all begins. It's only understanding that like I can't do it. I've tried over and over. God, I'm afraid, God, the that it's too big, God. These things even in me, I don't obey. I'm not even wired that way. It seems like sometimes I just seem to be prone. I I waver. I'm not faithful. I tend to to try to look to other salvations in this life. But when we reflect on the gospel, you begin to reflect on the God who loves you. Who loved you enough to seek you first to send his son. Not because you were a good person, not because you deserved it, but because he loved you. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son. And if that is true, if that's what scripture reveals about who God is, he's that kind of God, think about that. How much does he love you? How much does he care for you? And if that is true, then whatever I'm walking through, I may not understand it. I may not know. The enemy forces are rising. Everybody's leaving me. I feel alone. But wait a minute. I remember how much he loved me. I remember he started this thing for me long ago. And if he loved me that much, why would he abandon me now? Why would all of a sudden God just say, "Never mind." Because it's never based on me or my works or my deserving. It's offered once time and time again. Come to me. Come to me. I'm working good. Trust my plan. Don't take it into your own hands. Let's pray. Lord, I think of the words of the psalmist who says, "When my heart is afraid, I will trust in you.